Jamie’s (Still) Cryin’

A new rock n’ roll memoir brings back old memories.

My drawing of Brothers, the forthcoming memoir by Alex Van Halen about his life with Edward Van Halen.

Totally true-ish fact: Clicking that little heart to like this page will cause your favorite ‘80s song to be in your head the whole day.

In January of 1984, I nearly exploded with joy when I found a magazine that featured my favorite Brit Pop/new wave bands and covered them with silly/clever humor. The magazine was Star Hits, the American version of the UK pop magazine Smash Hits, and the first issue had my fave rave band Duran Duran on the cover.

Inside were all the musical delights of the time: Spandau Ballet! Culture Club! David Bowie! Also in the issue were Stray Cats (very cool), the Doors (old school cool), and…Quiet Riot? The Rolling Stones? Well, they were on the charts at the time, and Star Hits was all about singin’ along with the songs! (It had lyrics to popular songs, though the words were occasionally incorrect; more on that another time.)

Back in those days, she said, leaning back in her rocking chair and reaching for her tepid tea, music was more than a preference; it shaped your identity. You were a Rocker, a Michael Jackson clone or Madonna Wanna-Be, or a New Waver. If you liked some other kind of music, you kept it a secret so your fellow Goth pals didn’t make you turn in your bat ring.

The next issue of Star Hits had Boy George on the cover, followed by Billy Idol. This magazine was totally meant for the new wave/alternative “I’m an outcast even though this music is on Top 40 radio” set! And which New Wave fave rave was on the next cover?

Van Halen.

Why did I draw this cover of Star Hits instead of showing the real thing? I don’t know…but I kind of love it. (BTW, I got DLR down in five minutes; it took me over five hours to get this semi-okay rendering of EVH.)

Set the Dial Back a Little Further on the Time Machine, Please

Some background: I was a proud high-volume listener to the B-52s, the Go-Gos, the Bunnymen, the Smiths, the aforementioned Durans, Sir William of Idol, etc. But before that, I was a concert-fist-pumping lover of Kiss, Aerosmith, and those Big Rock dudes from Pasadena, CA, Van Halen.

Van Halen did something not many hard rock acts could pull off successfully: they rocked and had melodies. They were, dare I say it, almost pop with an edge. Or an axe. You could sing along to “Dance the Night Away.” Their harmonies were incredible—just listen to “Jamie’s Cryin’,” their cover of “Dancin’ in the Streets,” and almost every other VH song.

While there was a lot of focus on singer David Lee Roth—a motor-mouthed showman made for MTV—the true dazzler of the band was Edward (or Ed, but not Eddie, as his brother Alex reveals in Brothers). He didn’t play the guitar so much as use it to open a portal to a new musical dimension. Frank Zappa once thanked Edward Van Halen for “reinventing the guitar.”

I saw Van Halen live at Madison Square Garden. Even though my seats were upper midsection to the side, I could feel the heat from that giant lit-up VH logo behind Alex (I wondered how he didn’t burn to a crisp nightly). “They could be playing to ashtrays,” someone once remarked of their pre-fame, empty-club days, “and they’d still play like they were headlining Madison Square Garden.” The practice paid off: being at that show made you feel special, like your life was amazing, even if you were working the next day at your parents’ flea market carpet remnant booth (which I was). That night, I wasn’t flea market girl; I’d been invited to the biggest, coolest party in town.

I probably still had my VH concert t-shirt when that issue of Star Hits came out, though it was hidden at the bottom of my drawer under a pile of plain black t-shirts, my standard ‘80s uniform. And even though my friends complained about Star Hits’s sudden switch from New Wave to Popular On the Charts, I was secretly thrilled. I liked “Jump.” And there, on the cover, was Edward, the cute guitar genius. His then-new marriage to actress Valerie Bertinelli, star of One Day at a Time, made him, and Van Halen, even more alluring.

Later, when I actually got a job at Star Hits—something that astounds me to this day!—I learned that there had been a rather, um, passionate response to the Van Halen cover from the magazine’s constituency. The passion was conveyed in colorful language, some words that might be perceived as threats, and other not-exactly-positive feedback. Now, did that issue sell any less than the Tears for Fears cover?? I think not! (Actually, I know it didn’t; TFF were hugely popular, but that didn’t translate into magazine sales, furthering our descent into World’s Most Expensive Fanzine status.)

Back to the Present (and Getting to the Point, Already)

Oh, right, why we’re here! Well, I’m having a Big Van Halen Moment, ever since the announcement of Alex Van Halen’s book.

I was driving somewhere wonderful with the husband I never thought I’d have when I heard that Edward Van Halen had died. (In 2020, that all-around crap year.) Another piece of my past was gone. George Michael, David Bowie, Prince—all in that other totally crap year, 2016—and now Edward. I thought of all the times I’d felt so alone and alienated and just completely miserable as a teenager, and how I’d put on a Van Halen album and their music would blast all of that away. I’d sing along with their harmonies and be dazzled by Edward’s finger tapping, note-bending magic, my heart thudding along with Alex’s drums.

Some music can make you transcend the sludge of grey days and fire up that truly alive part of yourself.

Alex Van Halen’s book isn’t only about the band that went from backyard parties to sold-out arenas; it’s about two boys from the Netherlands who came to the U.S. and couldn’t speak English, but they loved music. It’s about working with someone for your entire life, to the point that you know what they’re going to do before they do it. And it’s about life after that magic ends.

I know I’m going to cry when I read it. And, knowing Alex, laugh as well. The book is out next month; I can’t wait, but until then, I listen to Van Halen’s music and feel special again.

Brothers is available for pre-order from Amazon. The Van Halen site says if you order from them, you get a little something special with the book (though they’re currently out of stock, dang it). Also, I highly recommend The Best of Both Worlds, the album featuring Van Halen’s greatest hits from both the David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar eras. Just non-stop amazingness.

Did you like Van Halen? What was your favorite song? Did you hate the Star Hits Van Halen cover, or were you (like me) secretly crushing on Diamond Dave or Edward or Alex or Michael, the bass player who was eventually replaced by Wolfgang Van Halen, son of Edward? Please, please tell me now (I know, wrong band) in the comments!

Scroll down for my Van Halen video playlist! In the meantime, why get this far and not subscribe??

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The Like, Totally!! Van Halen Video Playlist

Might as well jump into it!

Had to include this one from the Van Hagar era:

And this one, my current fave VH song (video vixens, much?):